I have fond memories of kids trying to look mean when starting a fights. They would first call someone out and then they would get into some form of a stance with the mean look to intimidate the other kid. Well I have even seen kids run home to put on a gi or boxing shorts. Then there was the kids that would scratch a line in the dirt and dare the other kid to step across the line.

When the kids grew up they realized that all of the beginning antics were of no use. It did not make any difference what stance you picked, how mean you looked or what you wore before a fight. All that mattered is how got in the first good strike.

Well in this post I am going to talk about self defense stances that will not only surprise your attacker but may surprise you?

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The guy in the video has the right idea but I would like to throw some more ideas at you. Suppose you don’t know how to fight – what would your ready stance look like? I’m am guessing backing away if possible, ready to run. So the guy in the video seems to be ready from a MMA, Muay Thai or Kick Boxing perspective (sport stance that ignores groin shots) but in reality he is totally open. But having said that – you cannot be ready for everything.

Backing up stances are supposed to give one a good foundation or mobility to launch your attack/counter-attack in a fight. Poor stances many times can lead to losing a fight. Much the same can be said of footwork or any other fighting skill set.

Keep in mind as we talk about stances for self defense:

• distance – the space you or your attacker can strike
• initial movement – isolating the beginning of any strike to just the striking point and letting the body follow after (to actually hit something)
• reaction time – the amount of time it takes to react after you first see movement
• telegraphing – giving away the strike before you have to (allowing the other person to see what is happening before it is too late)
• surprise – doing something that your opponent does not expect

So if someone agressively walks toward you – you have a few choices:

• diffuse the situation before he enters your critical distance
• move away before he enters your critical distance
• attack as he enters your critical distance
• do nothing and hope for the best

What I suggest is to use surprise to not telegraph if you have to defend yourself. Firstly you should try to diffuse the situation by talking to him. Maybe say hey what’s up man? Stay back and lets talk about this? Taking a strategy like this might allow you to get out of a fight. Be careful to back away as you have to all the while not getting into any kind of stance.

You may not be able to diffuse the conflict and then you are left with doing nothing (may people chose this – they don’t think they can defend themselves). If you freeze and allow yourself to be hit – you are in reality putting yourself on the attackers mercy by default.

You can run and if you are in fair shape – this is a good option. Let the police deal with it. They have tasers, guns, batons, dogs, and help.

You can fight back when the guy gets too close but before we do that – lets talk about stances.

When I was a kid a guy asked me what I would do to him if he tried to attack. I was standing with my feet together and my hands were at my side. He got into a rear-horse stance with a couple of knife hands at the ready as well a yelled a good Kai!!!

I calmly lifted my knee and struck him in the shin of his forward leg. He went down fast.

why had I not gotten into a stance? I had no formal karate education at that point but read Bruce Tegner’s books about how important surprise was as a defensive strategy.

So here is what I suggest if someone advances on your threateningly – calmly step back while trying to diffuse the situation. Tell him to back off if that does not work. Be prepared to run or attack without getting into ANY stance. If he gets into your critical distance you have only two good choices – run or fight.

If you fight – surprise him without telegraphing by employing initial movement. The first guy/gal to land the blow will win the fight if follow through or at least get away if you don’t think you can win.

Strike the groin, throat, or any other open target. Remember this is not you starting the altercation but you want to be on the wining side of the finish. This is not grade school where there are any rules other than ethically, legally, and morally you should not do any more than you need to do to get away.

You see if you had gotten into a good stance – the attacker who might have some training – might jump into his own stance and make it harder for you to defend yourself. I once had a guy get real mad at me – telling me he was going to kick my butt. I was in a situation where I could not let he do what he was trying to do at any cost. So I put my hands in my pockets and talked soothingly until he put his hands down. Then I knocked him out! Why should I have fought him toe to toe when a bit of stealth worked just as good?

So I guess what I am saying is you have a right to defend yourself but please do not be stupid too! Do not look the part but rather do everything you can to get out of the fight but if you have to fight – don’t fight fair – there is no such thing. Just don’t go overboard once you get the advantage.

So my final thoughts are do not get into a stance initially or you will lose the element of surprise. Sometimes surprise is the only edge you will have in a fight. Don’t give it away Grasshopper but expect the unexpected.

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I don’t know about you but if I could count how many bad karate movies I’ve seen where the good guy is surrounded by a bunch of bad guys and wins… It kind of almost shakes your faith in the martial arts. I mean because as presented – the only way the good guys could win is if the bad guys were inept! I don’t know about you but I do not want to depend on my opponent not knowing what he is doing as my defense!

Imagine you take a short-cut home through an alley and all of a sudden you see a couple of thugs in front of you but as you turn – you notice a couple more thugs materializing from behind some trash cans. You notice they have clubs and knifes and after you throw them your wallet they are still approaching? What do you do? What can you do when multiple attackers are closing in on you? More on this later.

I would submit what most karate schools (evidenced from all of the karate mass attack videos on youtube) teach is dangerous! When I was a kid I used to like watching Peter Pan and Batman and Robin but even back then I had an inkling that never never land was not real. Do we truly have to suspend common sense to take karate lessons?

In this post I intend to critique the seemingly common practice of teaching inept methods of mass attack to karate students and praise the schools that give students a realistic chance. Watch this video for context and note I am not inpuning the fighting ability of the style or participants but rather the concept/strategy employed to ward off a group of attackers. The first minute of this video has the mass attack.

I enjoyed watching the in essence kata or form but I have a lot of critiques of how this might have been made more realistic. I don’t mean to pick on this video any more than any of the others as I would have the same critiques of any of them.

First here is a few ways to fight and win in a mass attack:

• Mess the first attacker up with overwhelming force and really hurt him so bad the rest of the group will back off (if you have time)
• Pull a superior weapon like a baseball bat or a gun and take them all out (those that do not retreat)

Notice that neither of the two above strategies involve you standing in the middle and taking on attackers in turn (or should not). This is because in a real fight you do not know who is going to come at you when – so the idea of planning anything and just reacting will only go so far. I will grant that if you are a tough – good fighting son of a gun you just might take on a group of attackers fighting from the middle but this is the exception and you will not come away unscathed.

How then can one win against a mass attack? Well first you need a lot of luck. It is far better to not get into the situation in the first place. As far as strategy you would have to figure out a way to fight one guy at a time in a standing position. If you start wrestling around you will be dead meat for any of the other attackers that will kick you when you are down (unlike MMA).

How do you fight one guy at a time? Well it is a combination of running and fighting. When I had to do it – I mostly ran in half-circles around combatants to try and get one attacker alone for a few seconds and then I’d pounce. It was really frustrating (I was fighting six guys) because I could not stomp anyone (to keep them from getting up) so I had to fight for about 10 minutes on the expanse of a city block before the cops got there. By that time there were only three guys left fighting me and they could not do anything (by that time they were afraid of me as I’d smack them whenever they came inside my distance).

But what about all of the videos or movies that show one guy in the middle taking on all? In a word Fantasy! Why would a bunch of guys rush in one at a time and give you ca chance? You could try to convince them to send their champion and appeal to their ego – but that won’t work for long.

Most karate schools are more focused on the tree rather than the forest. Meaning how to do the basics, kata, techniques, and pass the belt ranking seem to be more important that fighting in many cases. That is the only way a school would sell a fantasy in lieu of the real think.

All of what is taught even in a traditional karate class is applicable in a fight – just not in the way some students and schools think if they are teaching unrealistic strategies such as. My hope is this is all for show just like breaking techniques are (I mean when is the last time you saw a board attack you back?). As a lifetime fighter (that is how I always viewed myself) I have been interested in what worked. If something did not work I dismissed it as a kata or dance if you will or just fluff. This is how I look at anything that in my view is not applicable or would not work often.

In a nut shell most techniques that depend on superior reflexes inside your critical distance (the distance the opponent can reach you with a kick or punch) have little chance of working unless the other guy makes a mistake. I know we are all used to watching boxers and MMA fighters toe to toe. That have the advantage of rules that protect them from most devastating attacks such as groin shots, eye gouges, throat strikes, kicking your opponent on the ground and such that you don’t in a real fight.

The trained professional fighters have another obvious advantage – superior conditioning. This is their day job. They can take a good punch from anyone as well as a ton of abuse. The average joe flies a desk for his day job and takes karate lessons as a hobby. He is not going to be in the amazing condition of a pro-fighter so he cannot make mistakes and muddle through.

Ok – how about those schools that put on the pad, and head protectors and go at it realistically? That is better but not really needed. At least those schools are not selling their students a bill of goods when it comes to mass attacks. The student is going to know they have little chance success unless they are able to move around and fight one on one. Hopefully it does not turn into a slug fest as there is no point to that strategically (meaning no tactics employed other then measuring toughness).

So what is applicable in a group fight? Fighting tactics such as strike and move, position, evasive, fitness levels and so on. One has to strike whenever possible and evade when it is not possible to fight one at a time. Other than that most are not going to be able to out slug two or more people at the same time (unlike the movies).

Work on your fitness levels, point sparring (so you can learn how to strike without getting hit back), bag work, critical distance and initial contact. With a well rounded fighting strategy one can train for any eventuality including a mass attack in a why that makes sense without perpetuating fairy tales.

To finish up my story scenario of the guys coming at you after you threw them your wallet. You need a diversion of some type and then you have to get away if you don’t have a gun on you. In this case I’d suggest a fake and attack after picking up a makeshift weapon or taking off your belt.

Run at one attacker and swerve to another that you perceive to be the easiest to surmount. Get by him and swing your weapon as needed to keep them off of you. Here is the deal – if you have to engage them as you are making your getaway – you are going to have to do some damage as you have four guys after you. Getting to a main steet may help and start yelling fire! Fire!

Get people looking out their doors looking for the fire, while you are dealing with one at a time. At the very least the cops are on the way and you have a fighting chance.

Work your strategy of engaging one at a time and try to do some damage to eventually thin them out. There are no hard fast rules other than NOT letting them engage you at the same time. Your best chance is to fight one at a time even if they have weapons. Use your distance, evasion by running half circles (unless you can outrun them – then do that) and singing out one at a time with your improvised weapon.

In closing I do not mean to attack the integrity of any martial arts schools that teach pretend mass attacks. While I do not see any value it that – they might argue it helps their students work up their courage or something like that. What I do like about any martial arts school is the students do learn the basics and hopefully they will become life long learners and figure out winning strategies that will work for them!

You’ve all seen the ads – you know the ones about the 90 pound weakling getting sand kicked on his face. What did you think? I mostly think scam as the bigger guy/gal would take the skinny girl or guy right? Anyway a lot of comic books pushed this stuff when I was younger.

I thought if I bought the Ketsugo book or xray glasses or whatever – as a kid – it would really work! I mean all I had to do was buy the hypnotism book and I could sway people to my way of thinking… right?

Ok – reality check… something for almost nothing is mostly worth nothing but the ideas might have had merit. Today we have those xray machines to search people at the airport. Psychology has come a long way since Freud – counseling can actually have a positive effect nowadays. Any let me tell you about those skinny kids – some of them can really fight – but they have to be willing to do whatever it takes to get the advantage on a bigger, stronger assailant!.

In this post I’ll outline what is possible and some of what I’ve seen – contrary to what most people think. I’ll also give some insight of what it takes to achieve the self mastery to defend yourself (if you really want to… that is always the question).

As a young man and after dealing with some bullies – I was obsessed with learning how to fight. That is probably why I learned to to fight as a teenager. But I had a disadvantage over a lot of people as a grew up – I was 155 pounds out of high-school and at nearly six feet a lot of guys were taller than me.

I remember getting run over when I sparred some of those big guy as I did not know what to do if they did not respect my space. A lot of big guys knew they were stronger and they figured if they could not punch me – they would just run me over.

The cool thing was when I started taking Kenpo – my instructor (Dick Willett) taught me not only how to kick and punch but how to connect and not take too many punches. All of these tactics were important in fighting. A truly good fighter had to take out their opponent without taking too much damage or the next fighter would take them out!

What do I mean the next fighter? Well fights are not fair. By the very nature of self defense – it is a last resort (or should be) when you have tried every other option to settle your dispute. So in real fights you will be sick, tired, injured, drunk, or blindsided! You have to efficiently dispatch the first attacker and move on to the next or die (hopefully figuratively).

But what about the skinny girl that gets attacked by a 250 pound thug? What can she do? Well that is what is great about martial arts. It is the great equalizer if the skinny kid has gumption/cojones/balls. I mean first the skinny kid has to know how to fight and then be willing to defend him/her self!

Say you are a skinny 90 pound girl that has achieved a brown belt in karate from a style that make students spar with sem-contact. That is ideal because the skinny girl in this example will have been hit before and knows how to avoid many strikes.

Lets be real however – a 250 pound guy smacking a 90 girl on the jaw will not turn out good for the girl. So how can she defend herself?

Firstly she has to keep her distance from the attacker by moving around and striking at opportune targets such as the nuts – eyes – throat and such. She cannot stay in range for long and has to explode in and back. As soon as she has the time – she had to get away or if she cannot – get a makeshift weapon and take care of business.

Here are a couple of points to consider – does the skinny kid really want to know how to fight? Does he or she take the lessons seriously and does instructor know what he/she is doing? I mean can they walk the walk (forget about talk the talk – talk is cheap – anyone can do it).

If the kid learns all of the tools of fighting and does not learn from a banger (a slugger – someone that likes to meet head to head and slug it out) – then he or she has a chance to learn how to fight (defend themselves).

What do I say don’t learn from a slugger? Why a slugger only is effective if he comes up against someone of equal or lesser weight normally. Try trading blows with a bigger – stronger person – and you will probably lose.

So what is the right way for a skinny kid to learn how to fight?

1. The kid does not have the luxury of standing his or her ground – must move around do some lightning strikes and get out of dodge at an angle.
2. The kid cannot hit the normal targets as it will  have little effect… he/she must hit the really vulnerable targets (another reason to not enter into a fight unless your life and limb is threatened – what will have to do to defend yourself is gonna be brutal).
3. Kicking the nuts, eye gouges, punching the adams apple, slapping the ears, biting the face, whatever it takes with no quarter until you can get away is what your gonna have to do.
4. This all assumes you (or the skinny kid) has a burning desire to learn how to get an advantage on anyone.

How do you know if you have it in you? Well as a boy and into my mid-twenty’s (until I was a third degree black belt), I imagined how I was going to drop everyone I met that looked threatening to me. As I was treated badly by big guys – I especially loved sparring them in karate school so make sure I could get over on them… you know if you can do it in the karate school – the street will be easy.

So for all of you skinney kids out that that want to learn how to defend yourself (fight) – there is hope but you have to want it very badly. It will be harder for you to get over on a bigger – stronger person and it is not fair. But so what. If you want it bad enough – you can do it.

I’ve seen plenty of examples of women taking on guys. One then green belt woman (black belt now I think) was pumping gas and a guy robbed the center cash register. He tried to run through this woman, Cathy, and made the mistake of telling her, “Out of my way – B!!!h.” Cathy wheel kick him in the nuts and ridged handed his face! He dropped the money and ran!

I hope you too will see the advantage of learning how to fight – no matter what adversity you may be up against. It is your life and I think you are worth it!

Actually very slow as I have done some sparring and some jiu-jitsu training this year – maybe about six to eight times all told and you know what? I’ve injured myself four to six times (in addition to all of the regular injuries at home (that have been decreasing).

So by now you think this is my wa-wa post where I cry about getting older and how unfair it all is. NOPE! Done that already but in this post I will speak to how my training has been adjusting and where it is headed as I head into my “Golden Years.”

Ok here is the deal – I have been training to keep my hat in the ring but this last year while gearing up for some team tournment – I was not able to keep up as I kept getting injured.

Over the years I have not been sparring too much especially in the last ten years but I have been keeping up with the bag workouts. To be sure sparring is about the best exercise one can get over almost anything else but it also is hard on a middle aged body. As I would break my hand or wrist – that would take months to heal and I would have to change exercises.

I had it in my mind that I would jump in with both feet just like I did in my 20′s, 30′s and even early 40′s. But let me tell you while I enjoy the high of sparring (hit or get hit) it is dangerous as I still hold back like I did fighting students. The folks I was sparring with are as old as me but they did not lay off like I did. Meaning they did not get injured as much as me.

The other consideration is I have been training for self defense for a long time and I love to kick to the knees and hips (to throw someone off) as well as elbow. And guys my age – I have to hold back from the power of my kicks (except for Terry Crook – he’s still an animal and can take it). But when I sparred with Terry – I got another injury as you’d figure.

So what is my lucid moment?

I’m done trying to keep up with the Jone’s. I am going to keep on training on the bag as a slower pace – aiming for the knee and hips as well as practice all of my self defense techniques, kata, basics and all kinds of strikes on the bag.

You see I can measure my power and mitigate my injures much better than if I fight with a bag that hits back (an opponent).

But you might be wondering what happens if I get in a fight and I’ve not sparred recently? Well I guess I’ll be like everyone else… but slightly better. My wind will last for about six or seven minutes.

But better than most – I can take one opponent in about 10 seconds… so depending on how many opponents will determine if I will be successful or not.

I recall my instructor Dick Willett, telling once at the internationals – as we were watching Ed Parker jumping over isles of chairs – (paraphrasing), “Can you imagine what would happen if anyone messed with Ed? He had years of experience doing those self defense techniques – no one would stand a chance…”

That’s what I want as I head into the next several (hopefully) decades – to get old gracefully (with limited injuries) and still be a mean SOB (if it is called for) for at least three minutes! Doing it my way.

Anyway after years of learning and eventually teaching karate – do we really do a good job of teaching basic self defense? I mean there is so much fluff in the martial arts… all of that philosophy about only fighting if there is no other way out and the stuff about forms and even basics. Who ever won a fight by practicing punches from a low horse stance?

Well in this post I’ll answer the question about how well the martial arts teach self defense for the masses (most kids have had a lesson or two) and if all of the fluff actually helps but most of all I would like to say how I would teach self defense and why I would not open up a school teaching self defense.

First for your perusal is the episode of Longstreet (an old TV flick of my day) where Bruce Lee did a guest spot helping the blind man learn how to defend himself.

What did Master Lee tell the blind man to be water? Really self defense happens in the mind first, before the first punch is ever thrown. If you learn the mechanics of how to fight and then let yourself go – you can achieve anything! Most people do not realize this so they really limit themselves (not just at martial arts but at anything).

Have you ever seen a bobcat fend off coyotes from a kill? Or witnessed a wolverine fend of a pack of wolves from a kill? Have you heard about a woman that was able to fend off a rapist by kicking the nuts or poking the eyes? Have you heard about a girl that was being snatched by a child abductor that was able to get away because she put up a fight? How about a guy that was able to fend off six attacker?

All of these situations are not the norm unfortunately but I have heard of or witnessed all of the above. Let me see on the wildlife shows I saw the smaller predators keeping the big ones away form their kill sometimes (I guess depending on how hungry they were). Plenty of women have escaped rapists and girls have escaped abductors if they do put of a fight. The guy fighting off six guys? Me back when I was a bouncer at a bar.

When I was a kid I dreamed of being such a good fighter that it would just be a game to me. That never came true but I did hone my fighting skills to the point that I always believed I would win if someone attacked me. I always did probably to the stills I learned and my attitude.

Lets get back to this question of all of the fluff in martial arts. Boxers, Muay Thai, MMA or Wrestlers might argue that all of the fluff in marital arts are useless baggage. The reasoning is kata and techniques just keep one from practicing the only real art – fighting!!! What??? Or maybe learning how to do old fashion moves (such as chambering your punches or standing in a low-horse stance) do not contribute to fighting skills. How about the philosophy of non-aggression? Oh yeah I can hear the full-contact types now… what a bunch of huey!!!! How about developing ki or chi? What? Why not just learn the touch of death? You see the critiques could be endless.

I’ll address many of these points but when I started learning karate at Tracy’s karate – my instructor told me if I wanted a black belt I was going to have to learn the whole system. I just wanted to learn how to fight at the time but saw value in attaining rank so I took the three or four years it took to learn the art.  Along the way I learned that one should not ever be the aggressor unless maybe you were outnumbered or the opponent had a weapon. You see it was hard enough back in the days before mobile phone video cameras to keep legal in a fight (not going overboard with witnesses) but nowadays even if you do everything right – you might have to answer to a court of law… it is better to try and avoid a fight at almost any cost (except life and limb of you and yours).

So I think the fluff in most cases is good. It is good to learn discipline and get into good shape. It is good to improve your mental awareness and thought processes. Kata take time and practice to perfect. Why not learn good balance and coordination? What about point sparring? It is good go learn how to hit someone without getting hit back. What about if you had to fight a MMA superstar? Just don’t fight toe to toe but rather employ self-defense moves and get the heck out of Dodge like one is taught in a non-aggressive approach to the marital arts.

But you might be asking if I think self defense could be taught better? Yes it could if a martial arts school understood the students needs. Not everyone wants to attain belt rank or fame and fortune by becoming a MMA superstar but the folks that do not have the drive to stick with a martial art could benefit from some age training much like Bruce Lee did for Longstreet (videos on youtube) or like I did for my youngest son 15 years ago.

You see he was getting challenged on the way to the store and his mom was worried – told me about the issues. I took my son out to the front yard and taught him critical distance and how to through a step back – counter punch. The next day the kid ran at him (part of 10 kids or so) and my son stepped back (letting the kids punch miss) and countered him to the bread basket! The kid fell over and could not get up for a few minutes until he caught his breath. None of the other kids wanted to mess with my son after that.

Self defense is not rocket science but rather just doing what makes sense. Anyone can learn basic self defense in a short amount of time such as distance, side stepping and a few strikes and that might be sufficient if they remembered it. I mean bullies being what they are – trying to pick on a kid they perceive as weak – do not keep picking on a kid if they fight back… win or lose – if you are willing to fight back and are smart about it… you too can beat the odds and actually defend yourself!!!

Well some other teen boys approach you as dusk falls – asking if you want to party. There are three of them and they are younger than you. You tell them no thanks and as you try to leave – they block the trail in both directions! Still talking they say that have some beers in a cooler nearby and how about having a bit of fun.

Your escape route is seemingly cut off and you don’t want to go with these boys for a “bit of fun” so what do you do?

More on this later but in this post I will examine what fighting spirit is and how it can help one make good self-defense decisions. Also I will talk about the lack of fighting spirit and the ramifications of that. In a nut shell the fight or flight decision in us sometimes has to be made in an instant for us to gain a momentary advantage. If we do not act when we have a tactical advantage – your chances of a good outcome diminish!

Take a look at this video to see what is possible as Dr. Ruthless so aptly demonstrates.

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Watching this video I can see what I call figthing spirit in action. The willingness to put up a fight to escape an attack is key to having fighting spirit. One quote from this video is how I feel about self-defense, “… hit the on switch inside yourself and become the attacker… ATTACK BACK…”

Defining the meaning – Fighting Spirit is the willingness to fight back but also the ability to rise to the occasion and do it! If you are willing to fight back but are not used to the idea of actually hurting someone in your own defense – you may hesitate too long and lose any advantage.

When I used to teach karate, one of the things we graded on was fighting spirit. I’d look at a student willingness to explode in an instant. I would watch sparring, techniques, kata to see if one took fighting seriously and seemed to be able to surmount adversity!

What do I mean by surmount adversity? Well in fighting one does not always do all of the hitting. Sometimes the other guy/gal gets in some good strikes. When this happens… what does the student do? If he/she fights through the pain with good tactics and is able to rally – then I think the student is able to surmount adversity (at least as far as I can tell in the school).

One example I can give when I was learning kick-boxing, regular boxing matches were part of the training. One day I was boxing with Andy Selcer at the school we were going about three rounds. Andy is a very well rounded fighter who had won the battle of Atlanta and he had some good boxing skills. The first round I came in confident as I was taller and had the reach on him. You see I had been working on my boxing skills for about six months and thought I could punch my way out of a paper bag.

Andy took me to school that day as I came in with the fast jab and cross – attempting to trade blows with Andy. He took my first punch and countered on the inside very effectively. I would then back up taking his heat. After the first round I had taken a beating and knew I had to do something different. Andy basically owned me so far… I was his punching bag.

The second round I switched up my strategy. I started sticking the jab and moving laterally in either direction (so as to not give away my escape). I’d still do the odd attack to keep him guessing but I did not take too much heat in the second round.

The third round I had gotten back my confidence and stuck with my stick and  move strategy. After the rounds Andy said to me after the first round – he did not think I would be able to adjust my strategy and was happy to see I had adjusted. This is one of the reasons I did so well as a young fighter – having so many good partners to work out with. We each tried to build on the others skills to help each other.

Sorry – I went off on a tangent here a bit but you get the idea – to have fighting spirit you not only have to have the willingness to fight back with the smarts to figure out a winning strategy! It is your life on the line.

Many instructors I know have opined that fighting spirit cannot be taught. One either has it or does not. I disagree. Fighting spirit can be drawn out of a student as they are educated on what a fight actually is! If some one attack you… you do not have long to respond. Many people do not respond because they had depended on everyone else to protect them in their lives and they just would freeze if anything bad ever happened to them.

I say this. The fact that you exist demonstrates that you are fit. I mean through out the ages until just recently – the survival of the fittest just like the animal kingdom dictated who lived and who died. Your ancestors were survivors! You can be too!

Here is the thing… if you ever need to defend yourself – you will need it now! You will not get a chance to agonize over the decision to fight back or not. You will have to go off like a crazed animal to survive!

Well let me get back tot he girl in the park. She probably should not have gone into the park at night or even stuck around if she was coming up on a group of other kids she did not know but in this case she was already surrounded. As it did not look like the kids were going to let her go – our girl tried an evasive technique.

She said ok – let me show you something (all the while calculating her escape route), she unfastened her belt (or keys would work) and after getting it loose (the boys were thinking she was getting friendly) she swung the belt buckle at the lone boy in her path and yelled GET BACK!!! and she ran keeping an eye behind her (to strike back as needed).

This is just one possible escape plan and attack were really fluid. If someone kidnaps you (preventing your escape) you have to right to do what you have to do get away so long as you don’t go overboard. By the way in this case a couple of bad decisions contributed to the girl being at the wrong place at the wrong time. It is not her responsibility bad boys detained her but she does have to deal with it.

It will not always be clear the time for talking is done unless you are willing to fight your way out of a situation. If you are willing then you can more confidently tell the attacker to BACK OFF! And remember fighting spirit can be drawn out with the proper training so you too can make good fight or flight decisions if you ever have to!