Halloween Self-Defense; Vampires!

Posted by: John W. Zimmer
Under: Self-defense
17 Oct 2009

 

This is the time of year to beware! Monsters and goblins are soon going to be roaming our streets. When I was a child I remember watching the scary “Creature Features” on TV featuring the werewolf, the mummy and swamp thing but one of the most scary was Count Dracula!

 

Now that I have grown up I am no longer scared of the dark or any creatures that might be lying in wait because I learned karate! In this post I will try and answer the question will your martial art protect you from vampires?

 

Do vampires really exist today? I will even entertain some of hollywood’s notions of vampires in some cool flicks but most of all I would like your little goblins to have some good skills in case a “vampire” attacks them for their candy! Here is a scene from Blade Trinity where Jessica Biel is seemingly about to become a victim of vampires!

 

 

Vampires or just plain muggers have the same basic plan of attack – they are looking for opportunities to find victims alone. I guess the vamps in this movie did not do well with silver knifes? There have been so many good vampire flicks lately that trying to remember the rules for each movie is tough.

A few of my favorite movies with vampires have been Van Helsing, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. But before we start reviewing some fight scenes; are vampires today real? I assume the legends came from somewhere such as Vlad the Impaler, but what about today?

 

Wow! Isn’t that kind of scary? A bunch of modern day vampires looking for victims to milk for their blood? It does not make much difference if these vampires are real or not – they become just another killer (or serial killer) to me. So what can you do to protect yourself and your loved ones? The same things you already do!

The way to fight a modern-day vampire is to do exactly what you already do – learn self-defense, avoid walking alone at night, park in well lit parking lots, close to the store at night and so forth. Self defense against vampires is the same as self-defense against muggers or car-jackers. By the way it is a good idea to escort your little goblins for Trick or Treat this Halloween. Sell them on the idea by telling them you will cary the extra candy for them. :)

I have seen some cool vampire flicks that I cannot really review on this blog due to the rating. If you can stand the gratuitous language and nudity – Dusk to Dawn is one of my favorite vampire moves. Another favorite movie, the Matrix Reloaded, has some cool fight scenes where Neo fights some vampires.



 

I have always wanted to learn that trick with the bullets. Willing the sais into your hands is pretty cool too! In the move, the vampires were no match for Neo (because he is the one). I remember another cool vampire flick called 30 days of night where the vampires were really vicious and more realistic but unfortunately I did not find any good videos on youtube. One of my favorite (albeit short lived) TV shows was Moonlight where the good guy, Mick, is a private detective and goes after bad guys.

I don’t remember exactly why Mick when after the bad guy other than he deserved it. Watching Moonlight, one finds him/herself in the position of rooting for the vampire – a kind of strange place to be as a human.

I would say if there were vampires like Mick out there – we would not have to worry too much about them because they would be self-policing. I’ve watch movies like Queen of the Damned where Lystat was challenging the old ways and True Blood, and HBO series where the vampires are generally good guys. I’m not all that sure I would ever trust a vampire though. I found a karate flick, Blood of the Last Vampire, where a heroine halfling (half human and half vampire) goes after the vampires.

Finally a martial arts flick where there are apparent samurai vampires! This movie seems to be of the Crouching Tiger genre of karate flicks where they fly thorough the air.

So now that you know your martial arts will protect you from today’s modern vampires, I would like to leave you with an amazing video I found featuring killer bikini vampire girls! I did not know vampire  girls wore bikinis because of the sun thing… oh well, I guess you will have to suspend dis-belief to watch this. :)

That cleaning lady was really a cleaner! So this Halloween just remember that your marital arts skills can protect you against all manner of attackers including vampires!


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One Response to “Halloween Self-Defense; Vampires!”

  1. Martial Arts News 10.18.09 « Striking Thoughts Says:

    […] teaches us how to defend against vampires! Now that I have grown up I am no longer scared of the dark or any creatures that might be lying in […]