Dr. J! One never knows what chances they have but I’d agree the odd cat call might lessen one’s chances from slim to none.

Matt! Yep the sticks and stones mentality is a great mantra for judging a situation to be self-defense or just poor form.

Sue! I like how you differentiated rude from genuine compliments. Totally agree that women (and men) need to deal with the world as it.

I still maintain this isn’t entirely the men’s fault (although this doesn’t excuse anything): just as a minority of men are rude, stupid and vulgar so are a minority of women (makes sense given the theory of evolution: if there weren’t stupid women too stupidity would have died out ages ago) and I’ve been in some clubs (not long, in case you’re wondering) where women basically prostituted themselves (out of their own free will too, or else they were incredibly good at faking it) right there and then or were so incredible rude, drunk and obnoxious they rightly deserved to be called names, although I personally would never do such a thing. Although it’s highly impolite and not done to call someone an idiot the fact is there are idiots out there (a lot too unfortunately), just like there are women to whom certain epitaphs are entirely applicable although it’s very rude to call them that. If you constantly hang out with that kind of female, does it really come as suprise you start to become mysogenistic or sexist?

Obviously I’m a big proponent of civility and a healthy respect for people regardless of race, gender, status, class or whatever. This doesn’t mean I have to like all of them though, nor become violent or rude myself because they don’t abide by my principles.

However I do agree with some of what Zara says. I don’t think this type of behaviour by men is that common other than in ‘the wrong end of town’ kind of districts or in sleazy bars and night clubs. That’s not to say its inexcusable when it happens. A woman’s best self-defence is to completely ignore it and not frequent places where it happens. We’ll never irradicate rude and unacceptable behaviour from ignorant, ill-educated people in society so we just have to learn to deal with it.

What is important is that women don’t demonise all men because a few of them behave badly – some men wish to pay genuine compliments to women and there is nothing wrong with that. Unfortunately many women cannot discern between a well meant compliment and a sleazy catcall and give all men the same negative response. This has the effect of feeding a cynacism between men and women such that all common courtesy between them breaks down.

In my experience most men I’ve met are courteous and respectful. In situations where I have received a remark, if I’ve guaged it to be rude and offensive I’ve comletely ignored it but if I guage it to be a genuine compliment then I’ve smiled and said thank you. However, if a man was to try and touch me in some way then that would be a different matter…..

Women can be quite rude towards men too, lets not forget that: if you as a woman ridicule a man or make fun of him because he shows interest (in itself a compliment) or lead him on and give him the cold shoulder afterward you are pushing him towards mysogenism and you lose the right to complain if you get called names or treated unfairly. Respect should be mutual and certain skirmishes just aren’t worth being fought.