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I remember in the fifth grade, some kids were picking on me. I started coming home from school with some bruises and my mom started questioning me. I told her what was going on and she had my dad talk to me.
I faced what so many children in the world face every day – bullies! I was a nice enough kid and had no idea why someone wanted to pick on me. I’ll tell you later how I came out of my shell but in this post I found one heart warming story about some children from India.
It seems that kids get bullied there a lot but some people are giving girls the tools to fight back! Girls have a good chance to fight back against boys on an even playing field (they are just as strong) until their teen years! In this post I will highlight how a self-defense class can even up girl’s chances against bullies. Here is one video I found.
Apparently this video was created by a NGO, Plan-International, for their Learn Without Fear (LWF) program (one of many). I am a bit wary of NGO’s because I am not altogether sure their research, claims, and goals are quite on the up and up but that being said, I am going to examine childhood issues in India they (LWF) are talking about in the video and link.
Martial arts supplies and uniforms at great prices.
First off anytime, anywhere in the world a child is mistreated by other children or adults, I get upset. I understand how the world is structured and that each nation, local laws and customs govern how people behave but that does not excuse abuses.
Children are our hope for the future. Adults in many cases have already cast their dice in life but as parents often do, we hope for children to have better lives than us! Off of my soapbox and disclaimers.
Focusing on girls and children in general learning self defense – I think it is great! Girls are just as strong as boys up until puberty. Girls in many cultures are taught to be more accommodating than their male counterparts and perhaps Indian girls have to overcome a social taboo to fight boys. Whatever the case, learning basic self defense skills can even up the odds if a bully attacks a girl!
This course was a very basic karate type of class but I would submit to you that it would be very useful even though the basics were very unrefined at this point. Why? Because just teaching a couple of moves with practice should boost their confidence level!
What is the point of teaching a couple of moves and boosting their confidence? Thoughts are incredibly powerful things. If a person, especially a child can imagine themselves doing something, They can do it!!! All they need is someone to teach them and tell them they can!
Good instruction is just as important but the point I am trying to make, is if you think you can and you learn how, YOU CAN!!!
LWF claims 50% of the girls are bullies or otherwise abused. Hopefully this is an over-estimate but whatever the number – teaching self-defense classes should help some.
My dad talked with me about my bullies and told me a couple of key points. Bullies pick on kids they think are scared of them. If they know you will fight back, they (the bullies) will generally pick on someone else.
My dad also taught me the old one-two (jab – cross) and kids soon stopped picking on me! I returned the favor with my youngest son. Some kids were picking on him so I taught him critical distance and a reverse punch.
The kids attacked him and my son stepped back and counter-punched the bully into submission!
I would be remiss if I did not mention that martial arts were thought to have come from India originally. I will close with a video of some Indian children in a karate demonstration.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
wonderful way to bring self empowerment and courage.
September 30th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
I’m all for self-defense, especially for those who are weaker physically like girls, women, children and older people. Bullying is a real problem facing kids and teenagers today (all over the world too, as evidenced by this video) and it should be dealt with, teaching self-defense in my view is an excellent way of doing this. First of all because it gives you the tools to fend off physical assaults (rendering you a hard target, bullies generally do not pick fights which they’re likely to lose), secondly because it gives you confidence in your own abilities and worth as a person. To me this is even more important than the physical aspect: as a kid I was picked on for years and this left me quite insecure and socially inept. I went to my parents with this and all they did was advise me to ‘talk to the guy’ and whine to the principal every once in a while (which did exactly nothing, especially since they were smart enough not to use physical violence), to this day I still blame my dad for all this unnecessary suffering. If he had just done his duty as a man and a father (as you did for your son) and showed me a few basic punches and defenses I would have been able to confront the ringleader head-on and beat some respect into him (strike the shepard and the herd will disperse). Too bad he’s a pacifist (in a lot of cases just another word for coward, in this case it’s entirely appropriate since he dodged the draft and refused to serve in the army, supposedly because it was against his ‘conscious’) and never learned any MA himself: his excuse was that fighting is vulgar (‘plebeian’ he called it) and not done, under any circumstances. The result was that I had to pay the price for his incompetence and bad parenting (not teaching your children to stand up for themselves, or at least not referring them to others if you cannot do it yourself, means you have failed them in a very significant way) and I’m positive a lot of people were and still are harmed this way with consequences that could be far reaching and dire (every year people, both teenagers and adults, commit suicide because of bullying and this is only the tip of the proverbial iceberg).
I think this attitude is typical in modern society and a source of a lot of unnecessary grief. Of course you should not resort to violence at the first opportunity or out of pride or gain (this would make you a bully yourself) but the adage ‘violence is never the answer’ is plain false. Some people just cannot be reasoned with and the answer to violence (be it psychological or physical) is counter-violence or at least a credible threat (back off or you will get hurt), to me this is pure common-sense and a basic human-right (the right to exist and to live free from oppression or bodily harm) but apparently nowadays this is all rather absurd and politically incorrect or what not. Might as well claim there’s no need for an army or a police-force, after all why would we need it when all people are decent and reasonable and this world some sort of paradise? This is clearly absurd yet it seems to be the general opinion (among guidance-counselors, teachers, psychologists and an increasing number of parents) and official policy in our school-system today. At least in my country, I’m not exactly sure how it goes in the States. Over here children are actually penalized for defending themselves (which is called ‘fighting’: this is absurd in those cases where the child did not initiate the violence but merely reacted to it), in most cases together with the bully but sometimes the bully walks while the victim gets detention or worse.
September 30th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
To me it’s quite simple really: as long as people keep their hands to themselves (touching another human-being without permission is the ultimate boundary, much like crossing another country’s boundary this automatically means war) and display a minimum of respect they should be dealt with in a polite and civilized manner, even if they’re obnoxious or ignorant, but when they threaten your safety, property or well-being the gloves come off and it’s time for some serious ass-kicking. Violence in itself is morally neutral: it all depends on how it is used, by whom and in what circumstances. Violence used appropriately (in relation to the threat) and for a just cause (self-preservation, the preservation of others, certain values or freedom) is actually morally good and should not only be condoned but applauded. If the allies didn’t have the balls to stand up to Hitler and defeated him at such a high cost (lives lost, endless suffering, a continent in ruins) my country and many others would still be under nazi-occupation and for that I’ll always be grateful to all those (Americans, English, Canadians and Russians) who risked their lives and limbs (many indeed lost them) to free my people and to destroy evil, an evil which the world had never seen before and hopefully will never see again. This reminds me of an old samurai-saying: ‘the sword that cuts down evil is the sword that gives life’. Truly this is an adage to live by and it should be put on the wall of every decent dojo: the purpose of the MA is not self-glorification or pride but developing and nurturing the ability to ward off evil (both small and great) and to protect oneself (in body and mind), ones values and others against evil and senseless violence.
It’s good to see martial-knowledge put to good use like that, although I do question the quality of this particular course (and many others like it): kicking with the hands low is not such a bright idea (it maybe allowed in the first stages of training but still it’s breeding bad habits) and practicing punch-defenses against punches that will never connect is not what I would call effective training. Don’t get me wrong: teaching these young girls is a great idea and John’s right in that only a few moves are pretty much all you’ll ever need but nonetheless these moves should be taught and practiced properly and under qualified supervision. If self-defense techniques are taught improperly they will be inefficient and this (together with the unwarranted belief in non-existent abilities) could actually land you in a worse position than before. In self-defense it’s quite simple: either you demolish or incapacitate him (taking away his ability or will to fight) or you create enough of a distraction so that you can escape safely (not always a possibility unfortunately). If you fail to do either of those two things and your defense was ineffective chances are he’ll get mad and use more violence that he originally intended or (even worse) produce a weapon which may very well cost you your life. ‘Bad strategy is the cause of a lot of grief” (Musashi) and a lot of instructors these days jump on the bandwagon of women’s self-defense (easy money) without being qualified and teaching techniques or strategies that are either a bad idea to begin with or only become effective after a relatively long period of practice (months or even years). The second class was far better but then again these children were obviously regular karate-students with probably years of training behind their belts. Joining a good MA-school is always better than a quick self-defense course although I do recognize this is not for everybody and certainly better than doing nothing.
October 4th, 2009 at 9:05 pm
Thanks the Traveller001. I try to focus on the positive aspects of martial arts training. These kids are trying in a difficult environment.
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Thanks Zara for you insights about bullying. I agree that good training is important as well as supporting the kids.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
I agree with your statement that self defense is great for the smaller or weaker. One downfall of the martial arts teaching self defense is that they don’t work on going for the groin, or eyes. They tend to do ‘nice’
October 18th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
Hi Ninja Costume, Yep there are some constraints to consider such as accidentally hurting your sparring partner. That why using martial arts dummies and punching bags are also important.
October 28th, 2011 at 4:42 am
Defending yourself doesn’t you have to fight back. Sometimes you have just to run away. Self defence could be only applied your life is really on danger. It is really nice that girls are being teach by self defence. I hope they will not come back to those who bullied them.
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